• Home
  • About
    • About Fii
    • The kit
  • Disclaimer
    • Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy
  • Work with me
  • Modelling

Fiixii

October 3, 2017 fashion•ootd•personal•styling

S t a n d a r d – the value of owning your flaws

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

photos by project_s_way – instagram

Almost four years ago I made a pact. It wasn’t a fun, candle-heavy, twilight-timed affair where I ended up initiated into a super cool, witchy circle, and it definitely wasn’t as intense as the blood-pacts you see on TV shows and in films (they look terrifying). It was just me, in my room, during a not-so-great time, making a series of promises to a mirror in an effort to be more mindful and kind to myself, before mindfulness and self-care had been coined as phrases.  Or if they had been, I wasn’t aware of them then.

Making commitments in a negative headspace generally isn’t the best of ideas; there’s a lot of ill feeling being fired off in various directions, goals or targets aren’t always attainable, and if you fall short it can be a slippery descent into The Void. Thankfully, logic, reason, and good old common sense were with me that day, and I was focusing on lessening the damage of my current situation back then, rather than making any life altering plans. I couldn’t change my situation without major issues, but I could change how I reacted to it,  change how I played the hand that was being dealt out to me. It was a little bit of control gained back in a game where I didn’t know what the rules were, and it’s one of those things that I’ve done that have somehow managed to work out quite well for me in the long run.

And it’s to do with my flaws.

If you say you don’t have flaws, you’re lying. Not just to whoever you are talking to, but also to yourself. We all have flaws. Humans, by design, are flawed. We’re designed to grow, to change, to evolve, and that process involves us addressing parts of ourselves that are no longer compatible with the narrative that we want to either be a part of, or portray.

But I’m not going to be rattling off things about surface flaws, those that are to do with appearance – body hang ups in the age of body positivity are issues for another post – instead, I want to talk about internal flaws. Those to do with our personalities, or mentalities, and the importance and real, tangible value that comes with not just acknowledging them, but owning them. 

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

I’m a pretty introspective individual. Sometimes this can be absolutely terrible, I can get very into my own head obsessing over the smallest of things, but it can also be incredibly useful. Being in tune with yourself, your actions and reactions, your attitudes both towards others and you, can grant you such a balancing perspective of how you navigate life. It can help you build stronger friendships, as you can give people a heads up on what you’re currently going through (if you want to), or kinks in your design that you’re aware of.  The ability of introspection allows you to identify the flaws that you have, and then grants you the chance to own them.

And why is owning your flaws valuable? 

Well. Even if they seem like something you’d rather want to hide, shove down into the deepest darkest depths of your core and forget about, I’d urge you not to. Owning your flaws means that people cannot use them to hurt you. Poking and prodding at insecurities is the fallback method for most people trying to get a rise out of those they, for whatever reason, want to hurt. Insecurities are our bare bones, the things we know are there but are desperately trying to hide. They’re a target, one that people find a perverse glee in uncovering and scoring bullseyes. If you own your flaws, you take the target away. You take away the ability for someone to use yourself against you.

Let me frame it for you.

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

A scenario. 

Almost four years ago now, I was sat down and had a sizable quantity of myself proverbially cut open, with salt proverbially rubbed into both time-old and super fresh wounds. It was an experience that pretty much numbed me as a person to a lot of what happened in the immediate months after. The flaws I had were picked at and used against me in what I’m assuming was a control mechanism, but I try not to dwell on the specifics. It was an all around rough time and I never wanted to give anyone that ability again, even accidentally.

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

So I made a pact with myself. I’d look at all of the things that they said, work out which were true and which I could disregard because ~projections~, then go from there. Had I been able to do this at a time when I was more capable of mental acrobatics, then I think it would’ve been a fab exercise for personal growth. Mostly, it just helped me identify areas of myself that I wanted to work on, and then kick started a pretty dissociative phase.

The dissociation, here, is mildly irrelevant, but since I’m discussing flaws, you can have that one of mine for free: if I’m truly having a shit time I’ll dissociate. Or over-think and then dissociate

Taking that time to really look at the inner workings, even if it was just a precursory glance that first time, did help immensely, though. Once you identify your flaws, and this is the part where I start talking about value, once you know what you’re slightly predisposed to – in the fuck up sense – it makes it very hard for people to be able to use it against you. Suddenly the ‘oh you’re so vain’ comments are met with a ‘I know? And?’ rebuttal, rather than shock, a brief moment of panic, and some cobbled together answer thrust in a very ‘clumsy schoolgirl who just awkwardly dropped all her books in front of the cool kids’ way.

Knowing, and then owning your flaws is one way to be unapologetically yourself.

It also allows you to pick and choose which ones to work on, if you want to. You get to decide which ones are most important to your own development as a human, and how you go about tackling it. Being pushed onto the backfoot because someone came brandishing a specific flaw at you like a weapon doesn’t happen (much) to me any more.

People can’t use my flaws to hurt me anymore. And we all know the insults about appearance and intelligence are the last straws anyone grabs at in a fight.

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

For me, owning my flaws has been pretty instrumental in trying to be a better adult/person . It makes it way more easy to sift through the sorts of people I’d like to be associating myself with, and also makes me a more conscientious and observant friend; I am a very extroverted person and know that I can be A Bit Much, not everyone can deal with that for long periods of time and that’s ok,

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

[what i’m wearing:

Oh wow, Fii is wearing a check tennis skirt, what’s new there???? I do own other clothes, I promise. They’re just super easy to wear and style and are super popular everywhere at the moment sooooo….

This one is from H&M, I picked it up when I was still in England, and it’s had a fair amount of usage already. It’s really easy to style, pair it up with something lighter for summer months, darker for colder months or a more grunge vibe. I thought that it’d be fun to shoot at the disused theme park in Seoul because it has those darker ‘hellchild’ vibes.

I styled it with a long sleeved slogan crop top, since Korea’s crop tee game is insanely strong, and I like offsetting the flippy skirts with tighter tops. This one, though, I got in winter, so the fabric is thick, and this shoot happened at the height of Korean summer. In humidity. I almost died. For the weather now though, it’d be just fine.

The shoes are from one of the shoe shops in Edae, as much as I’d like them to be real Gucci, they’re not. And, as this outfit post is lacking a lot in the way of accessories, I think I’m going to set myself the challenge of accessorising more from now on. Autumn/Winter is the season of fab headwear, and I have my eye on berets again…

Watch this space, I guess.]

Let me know what you think of this outfit, and if you agree that owning your flaws has any value for you! As always, you can find me on my other social media – if you especially want to keep up with my life in Korea then you can follow me on instagram or on youtube!

♥

instagram | twitter | youtube

Follow

Reader Interactions

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments

  1. May Cho says

    October 4, 2017 at 3:06 am

    I loved the topic of this post, Fii, and I completely agree. I think, in this case, "flaw" is a subjective term. Being vain and being arrogant are two different things, aren't they? One can be pretty harmless, but the other can harm people. I think if one's "flaw" falls under the latter, owning it and being self-aware is good, but knowing how to control it would be a strength. Not sure if I'm making much sense, but ah well.You look lovely as usual, by the way. Love love love the skirt!May | http://www.themayden.com

    Reply
  2. Little Kaatie says

    October 5, 2017 at 12:09 am

    Fii, I just fall in love with your posts every time. This was so interesting to read and funnily enough I was talking to my work colleagues about my own flaws and what I was doing about them. The whole "yeah-I'm aware of that" attitude really throws folk off but it's important to own it! Keep doing what you're doing!Katie Littlekaatie.com

    Reply
  3. Rosa Fairfield says

    October 10, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    These photographs are amazing and this is such an interesting topic to discuss.http://ohduckydarling.com

    Reply
Previous Bad Farmers
Next [STREETSTYLE] Seoul Fashion Week SS18 Wednesday / day 3

You mights also like

fashion

Heart on her sleeve

READ THE POST
blogs

Favourite Fashion Bloggers

READ THE POST
fashion

[STREETSTYLE] Trend Report: Seoul Fashion Week

READ THE POST
lifestyle

Real jobs

READ THE POST

fiixii

Seoul - fashion & skincare
f2 Visa
freelance model (published)
한국어로 괜찮아요 contact/ 촬영 문의: DM or email

Fii 🐶 style inspo & kbeauty
#협찬 Using the right sunscreen for your skin ty #협찬 Using the right sunscreen for your skin type is *drum roll* actually very important -- and I'm not just talking about SPF levels for different skin tones. 

Choosing the right sunscreen helps to avoid irritation, breakouts, and makes you more likely to apply it regularly, which gives your skin the best chance at avoiding things like melanoma (skin cancer) and premature aging. 

Determining your skin type >>
For me, finding my skin type was super easy. S E N S I T I V E. I'm horrifically eczema prone (have a whole series on my blog about this), and lean towards a routine that is simple but hydrating, staying away from too many actives. It's the reason I take forever to put up skincare reviews, because I have to check for reactions, or develop contact dermatitis from different ingredients. 

BUT - that's not all. See, I lean towards Sensitive-dry, which is why my skin care, and my sun care, focuses more on hydrating products. 

What determines your skin type? How much oil (sebum) your skin produces daily. 

Dry >> 
Does your skin feel tight? Less elastic?  Does it become rough or flaky easily? Dehydrated? Not a lot of shine in your T-zone? Then your skin type is probably dry. 

Oily >>
Do you get really shiny during the day? (Especially in your t-zone) Do you suffer from (manageable*) breakouts, blackheads and/or whiteheads? Then your skin type is probably oily. 

Normal >> 
Is your skin neither oily throughout the day, and doesn't feel dry, or tight, or often irritated? Your pores aren't too noticeable, and you rarely have breakouts? Then your skin is probably normal! Lucky you :) 

Combination >>
Are you oily in your t-zone (forehead, nose, chin) and dry or normal skin on your cheeks? Then you have combination skin <3. It's a little harder to care for, because you're often trying to battle with contrasting products 
(my tip: you're gonna want a sunscreen that's suitable for 'all skin types' ;))

So, now you know more about skin types, scroll through for my picks for each, and my current favourite sun screen <3 

Let me know your skin type AND your current sun screen in the comments below, and don't forget to #applysunscreenaddprotection <3
벛꽃 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

📍 @seoulism_official 

☁️ ☀️ ☁️ ☀️ 
#벛꽃🌸 #seoulkorea #seoultravel #서울벚꽃 #잠실 #visitseoul
#협찬 Q: what’s the most important skincare s #협찬  Q: what’s the most important skincare step?
Fii’s answer: SUNSCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!! 

This is a question i get asked quite a bit, and my answer has been the same for ages. The step in my skincare I absolutely never skip is: sunscreen. 

So I’m really excited to be taking part in @wishtrend ‘s #ASAPchallenge: #applysunscreenaddprotection 😊 This challenge is to help build the habit of applying sunscreen DAILY for 5 weeks. It takes 28 days to form a habit.. so let’s do this together ^^ 

There are some great perks for wishtrend users for taking part with me too! For everyone who posts content during this challenge, you get 1,000 wishtrend points and 3 promo codes to pick up your favourite wishtrend products 😊 And!! we get to protect our skin from sun damage and early signs of aging 😚

what do you say? 
Also what’s your ‘never skip’ skincare step? 

☁️ ☀️ ☁️ ☀️ 
#wishtrend #koreansunscreen #sunscreen #spf #nurilounge #선케어 #kbeautyroutine #kbeautyblogger
월요팅 💪🏻 감사합니당 @jssa0_1 📷 월요팅 💪🏻 

감사합니당 @jssa0_1 📷 

⛅️ ☁️ ⛅️ 

#whatfiiwore #seoulfashionweek #styleinspiration #y2kaesthetic #softaesthetic #서울패션위크 #스타일 #여자스트릿패션 #외국인모델
lol but ghostly 

감사합니다 @_inho.w 

☁️ ⛅️ 
#서울패션위크 #외국인모델 #촬영문의dm #seoulfashionweek #whatfiiwore #styleinspo
when will my prince return from war 🙃🥲

☁️ ☁️ ⛅️ 🌧️ 
#한복스냅 #한복대여 #한복드레스 #한복촬영 #외국인모델 #seoultravel #seoulkorea #hanbokkorea #hanbokdress #hanbokrental #공가는여우 #패션위크 #촬영문의dm #촬영모델 #whatfiiwore #princesscore #princessaesthetic
hands up if you like cafes! 🙌🏻 hands up if y hands up if you like cafes! 🙌🏻 hands up if you like cafes with cute mascots 🙌🏻🤭🤭🤭 

then i have a cafe recommendation for you~~ 

this cute (deceptively large) place is @for_tourists_dotori_garden by Anguk station, and i had a great afternoon enjoying the atmosphere with great company and great baked goods and i’m not at all noting the aesthetics for my own future cafe 🤭

꿀팁 - if you search 분좋카 on instagram then you’ll find a bunch of very aesthetic cafes around seoul that all have a great atmosphere (분•위기 좋•은 카•페 = 분좋카) ❤️❤️ 

📌 dotori garden // 도토리가든 
🗺️ 서울 종로구 계동길 19-8 1층

☁️ ⛅️ ☁️ ⛅️ 
#2023GlobalSeoulMate #2023GSM #VisitSeoul #SeoulYouniverse #Seoul #Korea #SeoulTourismOrganization #2023글로벌서울메이트 #서울관광재단 #서울 #분좋카 #분좋카추천 #seoulcafe #서울카페
changing room mirror selfies and a tiny headed bea changing room mirror selfies and a tiny headed bear. 🐻 

(yay for no winter coat weather) 

☁️ ⛅️ ☁️ 

#패션룩 #whatfiiwore #패션코디 #패션모델 #패션스램 #룩스타그램 #룩북모델 #룩스타 #룩스타스램 #옷스타그램 #옷스타그램일상 #옷스타그램daily #패션블로거 #촬영문의 #데일리룩 #데일리룩코디 #외국인모델 #stylehunters #stylefiles #ig_korea #fashionkorea #stylebloggers
{ #ad #협찬 #gifted } Vegan skincare is on the r { #ad #협찬 #gifted }
Vegan skincare is on the rise, and I received these beautiful Vegan Lip Butters from @melixirskincare_kr ❤️
Melixir is vegan, sustainable, and cruelty free, that has a range of products that are great for sensitive skin like mine :) 

I’m absolutely loving the easy wearability of “04 Dewy Rose”, and the agave infused formula is great for my lips (guess who doesn’t drink enough water…). 

“05 Red Velvet” is a buildable red, that isn’t too harsh or bright for those days you want a little colour, but don’t want to faff about with lip liners ❤️

📌 you can find melixir products at Amazon (worldwide), or if you’re in Korea, Olive Young and Melixir’s website ❤️

What’s your favourite lip product these days? 

☁️ ⛅️ ☁️ 

#melixir_veganskincare #melixir #멜릭서 #veganskincare #veganlipbutter #crueltyfreeskincare #veganproducts #스킨케어 #skincarereview #beautyreview #koreanskincare #kbeautyreview #kbeautyroutine #kbeautyblogger
👸 👑 (hanbok from @palace.fox - my #1 rec f 👸 👑 

(hanbok from @palace.fox - my #1 rec for hanbok rental ❤️) 

☁️ ☁️ ☁️ 
#한복대여 #한복드레스 #한복스타그램 #한복스냅 #whatfiiwore #hanbokkorea #hanbokdress #hanbokrental #palacefox #데일리원피스 #경복궁한복대여 #visitseoul #스타일 #여성한복 #visitkorea #princessaesthetic #princesscore #princesscoreaesthetic #softgirlaesthetic #softgirlstyle #궁가는여우
we went blonde 💅👸 ☁️ ☁️ ⛅️ # we went blonde 💅👸 

☁️ ☁️ ⛅️ 

#whatfiiwore
#협찬 #광고 skincare for glowing skin when yo #협찬 #광고  skincare for glowing skin when you don’t have time for extensive routines? i’m loving the @klairs.global fundamental line :) 

named because it’s formulated to take care of your skin’s fundamental needs, this is a great line to reach for when you’re busy, or just need something simple to satisfy your skin. 

cream: 
the fundamental water gel cream is super light weight for easy absorption into the skin. it’s packed with green tea for vitamin e, antioxidants and calming, which with the way my eczema has been recently i def need.

mist: 
the fundamental ampule mist os a great product to have to top up when your skin is feeling dry, or as layered with 7 skins. it’s got so many nutrients to make your skin feel refreshed and hydrated. 

eye cream
i’m always a bit hmm over eye creams that don’t have actives (like retinol or derivatives) but i’ve been reading about the benefits of using peptides for the under-eye area specifically and i’m not saying the results are magic, but i’ve seen an improvement when i’ve been using peptide formulated products in that area. so. jury is still out but i’m not mad. 
#the formula of this cream is also super thick and creamy so it feels really nourishing 😇🫶 

overall it’s been a great experience so far, and it’s definitely made me remember why i liked klairs products way back when i started blogging ❤️

products courtesy of @wishtrend via @nurilounge.official ❤️❤️

#skincare #kbeauty #kskincare #skincarereels #veganbeauty #veganskincare #dearklairs #스킨케어 #dearklairs #klairs #skincare #kbeauty #kbrand #nurilounge #mynurilounge
✨ fiicore ✨ the princess / abandoned castle ✨ fiicore ✨ 

the princess / abandoned castle vibes are strong here

⛅️ ☁️ clouds

#reels #reelstrend #reelstrends #coreaesthetic #princesscore #princesscoreaesthetic #softgirlaesthetic #softgirl
things i carry on the daily: 💼 @marhen.j kai things i carry on the daily: 

💼 @marhen.j  kai bag in urban black 
beauty products 
@romandyou waterfit cushion 
@keepintouch_makeup jelly lip plumper in bloody wine 
@espoir_makeup water splash cica tone up sun cream 

ipad cover is from @from.pick 

not pictured: work badge -,-, lip balm, assorted receipts 😅

🐰 🐰 🐰 🐰 
#stylereels #whatsinmybag #whatsinmybagtoday #marhenj #마르헨제이 #스타일링 #가방스타그램 #패션블로거 #패션블로그 #패션스타그램 #fashionstyle #fashionreels #fashionreelscreator #fashionstylereels
새해 복 많이 바드세용~ 🐰 happy lunar 새해 복 많이 바드세용~ 
🐰 
happy lunar new year from me and the floof and the personal growth we’ve been doing so far this month ☺️😊😌

🐰 🐰 🐰 
#corgisofinstagram #웰시코기 #웰코 #웰시코기그램 #corgistagram #corgisrule #corgigram #corgipost #코기러브
i don’t do these challenges but this was one cut i don’t do these challenges but this was one cute 

☁️ #reelschallenge
#kawaikutegomen #고멘챌린지 #릴스댄스 #릴스챌린지
pov: you’re cafe hopping in seoul ❤️ tell pov: you’re cafe hopping in seoul ❤️ 

tell me a place and a time and i’ll come to hang out ❤️🥰 

📍 cafe seongbukro/ @seongbukro 
it’s beautiful~~~ 

☁️ ☁️ ☁️ 
#cafetour #cafétour #seoulcafe #seoulcafehopping #whatfiiwore 
#서울카페 #서울카페추천 #카페릴스 #retroaesthetic
finally got a silky wrap skirt and it makes me fee finally got a silky wrap skirt and it makes me feel like i’m about to go to barre again 🩰 

skirt @dollsattitude 

☁️ ⛅️ ☁️ 

 #whatfiiwore #패션그램 #패션코디 #패션스램 #룩스타그램 #옷스타그램일상 #옷스타 #패션블로그 #패션블로거 #오오티디 #데일리룩 #옷스타그램 #cottagecoreaeathetic #softgirlstyle #fashionkorea #옷스타그램daily #wearingtoday #ootdpost #outfitblog #outfitidea #todayiwore #mystylediary #mylooktoday #discoverunder7k #dollsattitude
2022 was uh… a year (if u saw me trying to pos 2022 was uh… a year 

(if u saw me trying to post this already, no u didn’t 😂😂🤡🤡🤡🤡) 

☁️ ⛅️ ⛅️ ☁️ 
#2022년 #2023 #2022roundup
when ur as excited for coffee as u are for christm when ur as excited for coffee as u are for christmas and also music show broadcasts bc i am that girl now 😌😌😌😌😌 u only live once and all ✌️ 
merry holidays i hope ur day is merry and bright ⛄️ 

☁️ ⛅️ ⛅️ 🌧️ 

#크리스마스 #크리스마스코디 #whatfiiwore #성북동카페 #데일리코디 #데일리룩코디 #일상옷 #패션그램 #패션코디 #패션스램 #룩스타그램 #옷스타그램일상 #옷스타 #패션블로그 #패션블로거 #오오티디 #데일리룩 #옷스타그램 #stylehunters #fashionkorea #옷스타그램daily #whattowear #유튜버  #wearingtoday #ootdpost  #atinyselcaday #에이티니
Load More Follow on Instagram

Watch more

Join the List

Search

Copyright © fiixii 2023 Fiixii
  • About
  • Work with me!
  • Disclaimer
Theme by SheShoppes